The following was sent to us for the blog by Joe Giorgianni. We hope you enjoy a short, but humorous look at our world today.
Mask-wearing 101
Joe Giorgianni
Recently I was in a market selecting things that I would prepare for dinner. While there, I couldn’t help but notice how many people were not wearing a mask when all the science and medical gurus say we should be wearing one. Thoughts went through my mind about the pros and cons of mask-wearing. Some of which I would like to mention in this missive.
Permit me to first share a few thoughts on the benefits of mask-wearing, besides the obvious. First, mask-wearing is a good reason to stay away from people you don’t like being around in the first place. We all have them, so take advantage of this. No excuse is needed for your distance. Second, a mask allows a person to eat all the garlic they want and not offend anyone, except themselves. Also, mask-wearing by others keeps you from looking at ugly people. The thought just occurred to me that I never thought in a million years that I would walk into a bank wearing a mask and ask for money.
Now then, permit me to expand on the obvious and scientific reasons for mask-wearing during these critical times, including making an effort to stop the spread of this dastardly outbreak. The scientists, such as Dr. Anthony Fauci et al., who preach to be apolitical, have expounded endlessly on the benefits of wearing a mask. However, there are those who insist they have good reasons for non-compliance, many of which ring hollow. Permit me to list just a few, be they lame or justified.
1. Wearing a mask is uncomfortable. (Not, however, as uncomfortable as being on a ventilator unable to breathe on your own.)
2. Mask-wearing is claustrophobic.
3. Covid-19 is a hoax and not as bad as made out to be. (Tell this to the more than 204,000 who have died from Corona Virus)
4. It restricts my breathing, (This was debunked by a physician, who, while wearing a mask, ran twenty-two miles with no ill effects.)
5. The mask will cause carbon dioxide poisoning.
6. It’s not masculine
7. Prevents good communication. (okay… on this one, I have to agree. Being hearing impaired, I do find it difficult to sometimes
Frankly, and in my opinion, none of the above reasons for NOT wearing a mask in no way debunks the science FOR wearing one. So, if we might ever meet up again when this crisis is over, or even if it isn’t over, please be considerate of me as well as others with whom you come into contact. And I almost forget…please speak loudly. Sometimes my ears don’t work so good.
What do you think…white or dark?
Is The Wing White meat or Dark Meat?
By
Joe Giorgianni
If you were at a dinner party where chicken was served and someone offered you a wing, would you be getting white meat or dark meat?
This was the topic of conversation at a recent dinner party at my home recently. I have to say, I’m more confused now that ever. The answers, reasons and rationale given for each supporting answer were compelling, but not conclusive. For example, one person said that the wing of a chicken is dark meat because it is an extremity of the bird. Therefore, like the leg, it is dark meat. Another mentioned that since it is next to the breast, which we all know is white meat, the wing would obviously be considered white meat.
Being of sometimes sound mind, and curious to a fault, I grabbed a whole chicken (cooked beer can style on the grill) and ripped off both wings. My wife, who thinks that the cheese has already slid from my cracker, looked at me like I might be dangerous.
“What on earth are you doing?” She asked.
“I’m proving a point”, I said. “I’m telling you that the wing of a chicken is dark meat.”
After dissecting the entire bird, I carefully cut the meat from the bone in the wing. To enable me to see the exact color in the candle lit room I went to the kitchen to get a flashlight. When I returned, both wings were gone.
“What happened to the two wings I had on my plate?” I asked my wife.
“Larry ate them,” she said. “You know how he loves the wings.”
“But I was doing research on them.” I told her as I watched Larry pick his teeth.
Well that was the end of that dispute, at least for the time being. Later, while getting ready for bed, I asked my wife what her opinion was as to the color of the meat in a chicken wing.
“What difference does it make?” She asked.
“I won’t be able to sleep until I know for sure.” I told her.
Once again she gave me that “you need help look.”
Being fully awake now, I went to my computer and looked up the email address for the United States Council on Poultry. I thought that if anyone would know the answer, they would. Addressing my letter to the nutrition/education department, I asked if they could settle this argumentative dispute. Could they please explain why some of the meat is white and some is dark. Further, and more specifically, is the meat in the wing of a chicken considered white or dark?
I told my wife that I had written the authorities and when they respond we will finally know the answer to this deep and philosophical question. I’m pretty sure this in not a priority of hers as I got yet another look that said, “I know the wheel is turning, but I think your gerbil has died.”
The next morning I rushed to my computer to see if the poultry Council had responded to my question. After sorting through the important messages, such as “Have you found your soul mate?” and “Let us resolve your credit problem,” I saw the response from the council.
Dear
Sir:
In response to your question regarding
the color of wing meat, a meeting of the
entire Educational-board was held to
determine the best way to answer your question.
After much deliberation, it was concluded
that the color of wing meat is actually
secondary to our primary concern.
We’re still trying to figure out why the
damn thing crossed the road.
Yours truly,
Foghorn Leghorn
