Our usual facilitator, Rod DiGruttolo was feeling under the weather, so he was unable to attend the meeting.
Fortunately, George Mindling, author of US Air Force Tactical Missiles and blog Sleeps Two, as well as our fearless leader was back from vacation and able to step into Rod's shoes for the evening.
It seemed to be the week for returns as our other George, George Collias, author of Myahmuh: A Novel Of Miami Florida and Sandspurs Limericks By a Native Floridian had also returned from his time away. It was good to have them both back.
Don Westerfield kicked off our readings for the evening with an erotic and wildly imaginative tale of aliens walking on the wild side in a jungle called The Alien. In it, Don gave a wink and a nod in our own Ed Ellis' direction as the NASA explorer who was "rescued" and "resuscitated" by the native women.
Our next reader was Jenny Oberg. She bravely shared a piece she'd written in honor of her mother. In it she explored her feelings of loss and the fear of forgetting. Her words were moving and heart felt.
JoAnne Phillips, author of Adventures Of A Sea Hag, shared a piece she'd written called "Potato Chips Are Not Sand Dollars." As she promised not to point fingers at the "not so innocent" party who inspired this piece, she simply described him as 6'4" in height. In the piece she described the language barrier that happens when talking to the scientist/male type as their logic and the average human's seem to be on completely different wave lengths.
It didn't take us much time to figure out who she was writing about because Ed Ellis read next. His piece? "Ruffles & Response." It became clear that at least the first part of the meeting was inspired by this wacky writer. Ed's rebuttal short to Jo Anne's boiled down to this..."Never leave your wife and your girl friend in the same car smoking the same joints." Personally, I still think it's a case of Mars versus Venus.
Susan Davis wrote a piece called "September Ends" inspired by her visit to Boston. She called to mind the beauty of falling leaves and their changing colors. She also read a piece by Pablo Neruda called "Keeping Quiet".
Ernie Ovitz continued with his work in progress called The Seventh King. He read Chapter 5 where he introduced us to the governor's wife, Julia. She was not the traditional "upper class-woman" as she enjoyed doing "menial" tasks usually left to servants...including gardening. In this portion we discover that she appears to have ties to the Christian preacher thrown in prison. We also get more hints about Red Beard, whose son has also been imprisoned.
Kitt Crescendo shared a couple of poems. "Unforgotten" was a piece she'd written in honor of her brother who passed away 30 years ago, but whose birthday is on September 11. The second piece she wrote was in honor of Halloween, a piece called "My Dark Prince".
Ron Babcock, after sharing a cute anecdote about time with his grandchildren, shared a piece called "Me & My Woody." After proclaiming his love for his woody, he began with a piece of very good advice to himself. "Don't share my Woody with more than one lady at a time." In the end, it turned out that he was actually speaking about the antique car, not the piece tucked into his trousers as his piece initially implied.
George Mindling decided to share a poem by Robert W. Service called "The Cremation Of Sam McGee." Turned out he wasn't the only guy in the room with a love for Robert W. Service's work.
Barry Mick continued with his work in progress, Dragonfly. This time we found the protagonist contemplating the wounded dragonfly and its subsequent death. He strongly felt that the dragonfly was a sign, but he wasn't sure what it was trying to tell him.
Cathy Marine, author of No Dead Fish For Ginger, was back with more on her book on the various Rays found in the gulf. Her piece left everyone with questions about the interesting sea animals. Her new book is going to be a wonderful and educational learning tool for today's youth.
Finally, Andrew Parker shared another portion from his newest creation, I'm Drunk and I'm Calling From a Payphone In London. In this particular chapter, our drunken protagonist, George Lissman, meets his new lady love's parents. To say that the story is entertaining and unique is a mild understatement. The whole room rocked with laughter....
The night was a definite success and the readings eclectic. We look forward to our next meeting and to hear from some of our newer members.
Schedule and Location
Our group meets on the first and third Wednesday of each month at the Nokomis Fire Station.
From Sarasota or North, proceed a few blocks south of Albee Road on US 41 (past Matthews-Currie Ford) to Pavonia Road. Turn right (West, toward the bay) at the Fire Station's flashing yellow caution traffic light.
From the south on US 41, we are two blocks north of Dona Bay. Turn left onto Pavonia Road at the flashing yellow caution light.
At the Fire Station, drive to the fire hall's far end or west side; PLEASE DO NOT BLOCK THE FIRE DEPARTMENT DOORS!
We gather in the training room at the far end of the complex for a meet and greet at 6:00 pm but call the Meeting to order at 6:30 pm and take a Ten-minute break at around 7:50 pm. Meeting Adjourns: 9:00 pm
Showing posts with label Barry Mick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Barry Mick. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Wednesday October 2, 2013 Meeting
Labels:
Andrew Parker,
Barry Mick,
Cathy Marine,
Don Westerfield,
Ed Ellis,
Ernie Ovitz,
George Collias,
George Mindling,
Jenny Oberg,
Joanne Phillips,
Kitt Crescendo,
Ron Babcock,
Sarasota Writers Group,
Susan Davis
Saturday, October 05, 2013
Wednesday September 18, 2013 Meeting
Sorry for the delay, everyone. I know we're a meeting behind, but we'll have everything caught up by the end of this week. Life has been a bit hectic as of late...but I figured better late than never!
As usual, Rod DiGruttolo did a great job moderating our meeting.
We were thrilled to welcome back Jim Kelly from his hiatus to the north, so we asked him to kick off our meeting. As usual, he didn't disappoint. First he shared a letter Irv Newman had written to a woman named Gail at the local paper from his home area of Surf City, NJ called The Sandpaper. In this letter he discussed how grateful he was to hospice and that it had extended his life. Recently they gave his wife the gift of 5 days off by coming to care for him so she could enjoy some free time. He donated his car and some money to Tidewell Hospice to thank them. In fact, as I wrote this blog and linked in Tidewell, I saw that Irv's story is featured on their website. As it's a YouTube Link, I thought you guys might want to see...
Jim ended his time with a poem he wrote while back at his old stomping grounds called "Goin' Home". It clearly depicted change...and how through the years, it's virtually impossible for anything to stay the same. I would have posted the poem, but I didn't get a chance to ask Jim for permission.
Ed Ellis shared a piece called "I Wish" as he celebrated his 50th anniversary from military discharge as well as honored those we lost on 9/11. In his piece he took a somber moment to reflect on war and make a wish for the wisdom of those who came before us. It was heartfelt and definitely a more sensitive side to our smarty pants prankster....but moving.
JoAnne Phillips, author of Adventures of a Sea Hag, read a chapter called "Religion and Communism" from her new work in progress, The Matrix of Life. In this chapter she talked about picking out a Christmas tree, befriending a goat named "Billy" who she treated as her pony and being a time of love and laughter. Her parents reconciled and remarried in the spring, moving them into a one bedroom storefront in town where the store window was painted to prevent people from being able to see inside. This was also when she was first introduced to McCarthyism. It didn't take any stretch of the imagination for anyone in the group to figure out that this spelled trouble for the precocious, young JoAnne....and we were right.
Pat Patterson came up next. Rather than read from his manuscript The Takers, he shared some valuable insights he's gained in his writing journey. He realized that editing is not exactly what he thought it was. Once he completed writing his manuscript, he made the assumption (incorrectly) that he could hire an editor, get the editor to unravel the "tangled ball of yarn" that was his story and fix his errors, then receive his work, ready for publication. Instead, he found that errors are costly and that it's never a good idea to send a first draft off to an editor. The time to submit to an editor is when you've polished it as much as you possibly can and you need some assistance on the finer points. So, he printed off a chapter and handed it to the group with a request for feedback and support.
Don Westerfield went back to his poetry roots with two pieces. One was called ODE to SEA GRASS which was a lovely piece that brought us back to nature and our small part in it. The other one got folks talking, so I thought I'd share it here. (We also learned the difference between an elegy and a eulogy. ;-))
When I had feet me shoes were yellow
ah yellow as pollen they were
as bright as lemons
bright as me lad's smile
bold as his laugh
an oh how I danced in me shoes
all night
a swarm a bees drunk from the flowers
sportin their yellow pants an boots
knew not as many turns as me lad an me
not have as many
an when in the slow river a bare foot
we went a wadin me lad an me
an bare we were from toe to head
a hand an hand
me yellow shoes were glad to wait
all hodge podge with his
for shoes has no need a feet
though feet has a need a them
but now old as I be I has no need a shoes
not yellow not brown
but glad I am glad as I was when I was a lass
for I got me a lad an I rather him than me feet.
Ernie Ovitz went next, sharing more from his work The Seventh King. In this chapter, Theodorus is thrown into jail for his beliefs in Christianity. He attempts to continue sharing his message only to realize he's not alone in his cell and that the other guy, hidden by shadows, is a bit scary. Ernie left us wondering as to the identity of the mystery man and how he ties to the unrest that seems to be steadily increasing with every chapter.
Jenny Oberg, inspired by the work of Deepak Choprah, wrote a piece of nature poetry that sparked some spunky debate amongst her listeners. Jenny wrote her piece about majestic creatures from awed eyes, pointing out how although many of them appear the same, they're all different. Some of the listeners find beauty in the Darwinistic tendencies of animals and the very literal and real battles that occur in nature. Others felt just as passionately that they'd rather see it from a starry-eyed, idealistic vision of grace and majesty.
Barry Mick took our feedback from the previous meeting and touched up his work in progress, roughly titled "Dragonfly". The general feedback was that the flow of the story now had a nice, smooth rhythm. We look forward to hearing more about his dragonfly...as the feeling that it is symbolic for something much deeper comes through loud and clear.
Beth Rice, Author of I'm Adopted, I'm Special along with her blog, Animal Tales, read a very powerful chapter she called "Job Hunt" from her work in progress, Pawprints Are Forever. In it, we find the heroine at a plant nursery, reminiscing about joyful times spent there with her family and quickly realize that it had been her family's business. Heartbroken, they are closing the doors for the last time. In their line of work, it was virtually impossible to compete with the big business companies. It's also the first time she sees her husband, the man who has always been her rock, completely devastated. As she'd been discussing creating a hook and positioning of her book, we firmly felt that THIS should be her beginning...and a very strong hook. This part definitely left many of us emotionally impacted and devastated on the protagonist's behalf.
One of our newer members, Patrick Hurley, finally decided to be bold and stepped forward to read a character sketch he'd written about a female character from the island of Petite Marie known only as Patrice. Beautiful and a bit mercenary, she'll do whatever it takes to avoid becoming an average local. She wants power and wealth and she's willing to do whatever it takes to get there...including a bit of drug trafficking. This character definitely has a lot of potential. We can't wait to see how she is weaved into the plot he's creating in his head.
Andrew Parker ended our meeting in his inimitable fashion, by introducing us to his newest work in progress that he is tentatively calling I'm Drunk and I'm Calling From A Payphone In London. The unique creation occurred when he'd passingly mentioned it in a profile he'd created for himself, causing a reader to email him asking where he could purchase this book as it sounded very interesting. True to Andrew's personality, he decided to make the story a reality. In the first chapter we're introduced to a drunk homeless man named George Lissman who'd fallen on hard times after his inability to quit alcohol caused him to lose his job as a conductor for an orchestra. Every night he sits in a bar where he drinks, then drunk dials random phone numbers. On this particular night, someone answered... Her name is Jacqueline Aurora. Let's just say that hilarity ensued. Once Andrew finished reading, everyone was leaving with either a belly ache or wiping away tears.
Thanks again to everyone for their wonderful contributions!
As usual, Rod DiGruttolo did a great job moderating our meeting.
We were thrilled to welcome back Jim Kelly from his hiatus to the north, so we asked him to kick off our meeting. As usual, he didn't disappoint. First he shared a letter Irv Newman had written to a woman named Gail at the local paper from his home area of Surf City, NJ called The Sandpaper. In this letter he discussed how grateful he was to hospice and that it had extended his life. Recently they gave his wife the gift of 5 days off by coming to care for him so she could enjoy some free time. He donated his car and some money to Tidewell Hospice to thank them. In fact, as I wrote this blog and linked in Tidewell, I saw that Irv's story is featured on their website. As it's a YouTube Link, I thought you guys might want to see...
Jim ended his time with a poem he wrote while back at his old stomping grounds called "Goin' Home". It clearly depicted change...and how through the years, it's virtually impossible for anything to stay the same. I would have posted the poem, but I didn't get a chance to ask Jim for permission.
Ed Ellis shared a piece called "I Wish" as he celebrated his 50th anniversary from military discharge as well as honored those we lost on 9/11. In his piece he took a somber moment to reflect on war and make a wish for the wisdom of those who came before us. It was heartfelt and definitely a more sensitive side to our smarty pants prankster....but moving.
JoAnne Phillips, author of Adventures of a Sea Hag, read a chapter called "Religion and Communism" from her new work in progress, The Matrix of Life. In this chapter she talked about picking out a Christmas tree, befriending a goat named "Billy" who she treated as her pony and being a time of love and laughter. Her parents reconciled and remarried in the spring, moving them into a one bedroom storefront in town where the store window was painted to prevent people from being able to see inside. This was also when she was first introduced to McCarthyism. It didn't take any stretch of the imagination for anyone in the group to figure out that this spelled trouble for the precocious, young JoAnne....and we were right.
Pat Patterson came up next. Rather than read from his manuscript The Takers, he shared some valuable insights he's gained in his writing journey. He realized that editing is not exactly what he thought it was. Once he completed writing his manuscript, he made the assumption (incorrectly) that he could hire an editor, get the editor to unravel the "tangled ball of yarn" that was his story and fix his errors, then receive his work, ready for publication. Instead, he found that errors are costly and that it's never a good idea to send a first draft off to an editor. The time to submit to an editor is when you've polished it as much as you possibly can and you need some assistance on the finer points. So, he printed off a chapter and handed it to the group with a request for feedback and support.
Don Westerfield went back to his poetry roots with two pieces. One was called ODE to SEA GRASS which was a lovely piece that brought us back to nature and our small part in it. The other one got folks talking, so I thought I'd share it here. (We also learned the difference between an elegy and a eulogy. ;-))
then will the trees sing
wandered long
have i these mortal woods
down worn trails of tears and laughter
step by searching step i trod
pathways that split and split again
those chosen roads of faulted time
soon to forget my passage
but if ever the soul survives
the strife of its mere existence
these woods will always know the truth
as the breath of life expends
when evening is nigh
then will the trees sing
my elegy
Kitt Crescendo finally shared the beginning to one of her works in progress, Three For All. She needed to read it out loud in front of an audience to hear some spots that might be a bit rough. She was able to pick a couple of errors out for herself, and with the help of the team, also caught a couple of repetitive words. Someone also commented that there seemed to be a lot of body parts slipping on each other thanks to the suntan oil. We weren't sure whether or not that was necessarily a bad thing as she is writing an erotic piece.
Asha Anderson came one last time before she headed off to Asia for a year. She and her lovely poetry will be missed, but we have high hopes that once she returns from her adventures abroad, that she will come find us again. In a writing class back in Ashland, OR 1988, she was challenged to write a piece with a specific subject in mind. This is the poem I elected to post because the playful whimsy drew me in...and I could almost hear a Scottish or Irish accent reading the piece.
YELLOW SHOES
When I had feet me shoes were yellow
ah yellow as pollen they were
as bright as lemons
bright as me lad's smile
bold as his laugh
an oh how I danced in me shoes
all night
a swarm a bees drunk from the flowers
sportin their yellow pants an boots
knew not as many turns as me lad an me
not have as many
an when in the slow river a bare foot
we went a wadin me lad an me
an bare we were from toe to head
a hand an hand
me yellow shoes were glad to wait
all hodge podge with his
for shoes has no need a feet
though feet has a need a them
but now old as I be I has no need a shoes
not yellow not brown
but glad I am glad as I was when I was a lass
for I got me a lad an I rather him than me feet.
Ernie Ovitz went next, sharing more from his work The Seventh King. In this chapter, Theodorus is thrown into jail for his beliefs in Christianity. He attempts to continue sharing his message only to realize he's not alone in his cell and that the other guy, hidden by shadows, is a bit scary. Ernie left us wondering as to the identity of the mystery man and how he ties to the unrest that seems to be steadily increasing with every chapter.
Jenny Oberg, inspired by the work of Deepak Choprah, wrote a piece of nature poetry that sparked some spunky debate amongst her listeners. Jenny wrote her piece about majestic creatures from awed eyes, pointing out how although many of them appear the same, they're all different. Some of the listeners find beauty in the Darwinistic tendencies of animals and the very literal and real battles that occur in nature. Others felt just as passionately that they'd rather see it from a starry-eyed, idealistic vision of grace and majesty.
Barry Mick took our feedback from the previous meeting and touched up his work in progress, roughly titled "Dragonfly". The general feedback was that the flow of the story now had a nice, smooth rhythm. We look forward to hearing more about his dragonfly...as the feeling that it is symbolic for something much deeper comes through loud and clear.
Beth Rice, Author of I'm Adopted, I'm Special along with her blog, Animal Tales, read a very powerful chapter she called "Job Hunt" from her work in progress, Pawprints Are Forever. In it, we find the heroine at a plant nursery, reminiscing about joyful times spent there with her family and quickly realize that it had been her family's business. Heartbroken, they are closing the doors for the last time. In their line of work, it was virtually impossible to compete with the big business companies. It's also the first time she sees her husband, the man who has always been her rock, completely devastated. As she'd been discussing creating a hook and positioning of her book, we firmly felt that THIS should be her beginning...and a very strong hook. This part definitely left many of us emotionally impacted and devastated on the protagonist's behalf.
One of our newer members, Patrick Hurley, finally decided to be bold and stepped forward to read a character sketch he'd written about a female character from the island of Petite Marie known only as Patrice. Beautiful and a bit mercenary, she'll do whatever it takes to avoid becoming an average local. She wants power and wealth and she's willing to do whatever it takes to get there...including a bit of drug trafficking. This character definitely has a lot of potential. We can't wait to see how she is weaved into the plot he's creating in his head.
Andrew Parker ended our meeting in his inimitable fashion, by introducing us to his newest work in progress that he is tentatively calling I'm Drunk and I'm Calling From A Payphone In London. The unique creation occurred when he'd passingly mentioned it in a profile he'd created for himself, causing a reader to email him asking where he could purchase this book as it sounded very interesting. True to Andrew's personality, he decided to make the story a reality. In the first chapter we're introduced to a drunk homeless man named George Lissman who'd fallen on hard times after his inability to quit alcohol caused him to lose his job as a conductor for an orchestra. Every night he sits in a bar where he drinks, then drunk dials random phone numbers. On this particular night, someone answered... Her name is Jacqueline Aurora. Let's just say that hilarity ensued. Once Andrew finished reading, everyone was leaving with either a belly ache or wiping away tears.
Thanks again to everyone for their wonderful contributions!
Labels:
Andrew Parker,
Asha Anderson,
Barry Mick,
Beth Rice,
Don Westerfield,
Ed Ellis,
Ernie Ovitz,
Irv Newman,
James O. Kelly,
Jenny Oberg,
Joanne Phillips,
Kitt Crescendo,
Pat Patterson,
Patrick Hurley
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Wednesday September 4, 2013 Meeting
Our meeting commenced promptly at 6:30. Rod DiGruttolo, our moderator for the evening, introduced Peter Frickel to the group, though he needed no introduction with us.
Author of Lotha and the Three Crosses and My Frog Sings along with his blog, iThink, his pieces are looked forward to for their imagery (never mind his gorgeous South African lilt).
As per last meeting's announcements, Peter kicked off our discussion regarding sentence, paragraph and page construction. He kicked it off by letting us imagine Pooh and Peter in conversation where Pooh says, "Tell me where the sentence lives.."
And then he laid out his challenge.
"What makes a sentence? Do you know the different kinds of sentences?"
As he spent the evening breaking down the various forms of sentences and their purposes...and how the right combination can create magic on a page, he pointed out a simple yet valuable fact.
"We talk too much, listen too little."
He encouraged us to find ways to inspire the senses. Music to inspire, Books of colors, images...senses.
We all came away enjoying the different outlooks and points of view that Peter offered into the way we hone our craft to constantly, consistently improve.
Our readings were kicked off by Susan Davis whose travelling gypsy spirit guided her to read from 100 Love Sonnets by Pablo Neruda. She chose to read #6. The pure beauty and passion made it easy to understand why she was inspired to share. Even more interesting was her story to go along with the poetry...when she told us of her tour of Neruda's home and the amazing view from his bedroom. The breathless natural beauty from his window combined with being in the great writer's home left her in awe.
Next, Ed Ellis read his very entertaining piece entitled "Awkward Encounter". It was a story of life after high school which included hanging out with Steve, his sidekick, cruising for chicks at "Bob's Big Boy" and some Mary Jane. Let's just say that after a bit of partying, one of the characters was uncertain if his trip to Disneyland was a dream or an actual occurrence. Yes, this piece had the whole group rolling with laughter at the characters' antics, the anticipation and the punch line.
Pat Patterson took on Rod's dialogue challenge. He called his piece "Two Old 1963 High School Class Buddies On The Telephone". In his piece we got the opportunity to hear two old friends wax nostalgic on the past and play catch up on life in general...and how their views of events had changed through the years.
Jeff Cochran read two pieces. The first was his dialogue challenge from Rod. He attributed his inspiration to Kitt's dialogue challenge from the prior meeting...and it didn't take any time at all to figure out why. With sentences like "Just slide it in" "Move it around a bit" and "I don't think that's going to fit", it was obvious that the dialogue included a lot of fun, tongue-in-cheek innuendo. What was it really about? A shoe sale, of course! His next piece was a poem he entitled "Seasons" that he'd written to celebrate an artist friend, Holly Lovely. His verses painted picturesque scenes and enabled the listener to feel each season...and appreciate how much he treasured his friend.
Our newcomer, Barry Mick, shared his piece called "Dragonfly". Although there was a literal dragonfly in his story, it became evident quickly that there was deep symbolism in that dragonfly. This is just the beginning of what we sense will be a very powerful story of love, loss and family. We can't wait to see where Barry takes his story.
Don Westerfield shared a short story he called "My Family Tree". He was researching a tale about his family tree and the family scandal that caused his grandpa to leave Kentucky and move to Indiana. To learn more about the roots of the tree in Kentucky, he headed back to where it all began and found his only remaining relative in town was the drunk guy he met on the corner. As he asked some former neighbors about what happened to his family, he was told..."Son, when you go digging for your roots, all you usually end up with is a can of worms." Yes, there was much laughter and applause that followed this entertaining short piece.
Ernie Ovitz continued with Chapter 2 if his WIP, "The Seventh King". In this part we're beginning to get a feel for the political savvy of Constantine, the Tribune, as he deals with General Decimus and his interview, hoping to learn more about the Emperor. In this part we also begin to get a better feel for Red Beard and why he's targeting them.
JoAnne Phillips, author of Adventures Of A Sea Hag continued with her current WIP, "The Matrix Of Life" with her next chapter entitled "Goodbye Mushy". In this chapter she talked about she and her mother living with her grandma who suffered from bipolar disorder, though it wasn't yet a diagnosis. There wasn't a dry eye in the house as she bravely shared the story about the puppy, Mushy, her mother's ex-boyfriend gave her and how she held it in her arms as she watched it die a horrible death at her grandmother's hand. The lethargy and inability to communicate and respond broke our hearts for her...and we were so relieved when she was placed back into the care of her grandparents on her father's side as she began her slow battle back toward healing. JoAnne's story has it's ups and downs, but the one constant is this... We're cheering for her!
Linda Shell was back with her YA Adventure about Gracie the dwarf kangaroo in "Come Along With Me". She had the group snorting with laughter at her clever turn of phrase, "Buster's last stand" as she told about the chicken who ran around with it's head cut off...spraying grandma's white, newly washed sheets that were hanging on the line with his blood. Guess that's what she gets for deciding to make him dinner. We're definitely looking forward to seeing where Gracie's adventure leads next.
Next came another excerpt from author of I'm Adopted, I'm Special and The Animal Tales blog, Beth Rice's newest WIP "Pawprints Are Forever". The next installment was called "Dr Anthony Vinelli". He wasn't the suave, handsome doc, but rather the smart, capable doc with the fabulous petside manner...who the techs didn't like much, but then...he made them work. He was also an avian specialist which meant he got to handle then snakes and their temperamental owners. He was also the resident "Friends" trivia guru and the favorite doctor for the protagonist. At this point, he was just introduced into the story along with a couple of patients who he's helped along the way, but we all sense that there's much more to their story and are looking forward to hearing it told.
As we closed out the night, we circled back to Peter. He shared with us a piece he'd written about a river called "There Runs A River". Although it was ultimately about the river, it was about so much more. It was symbolic of time and how, like a river, they both change everything as they move. He also shared some of his own poetry. With his permission, here's his piece.
The Pathway
The single line pathway
Moved humans
Carrying empty pails of sorrowed hunger
And despair they should never have owned.
Some brought extended bellies
Swollen lips and cleaved tongues,
Others empty eyes,
Faces cracked
Scabbed skin
Where tears had dried.
And the dogs
That came on burnt paws,
Pulled tails across stones,
Whimpered for those they left to die.
We walked
Slowly
Into miles,
To the horizon,
To a town.
Some groaned
Stopped and dropped
With voices that gurgled
Between cracked lips
Before they died.
For each that crumpled
I bent down
Besides
With a prayer.
Pressed eye lids
Closed
With whites covered
Each rested
In their own dark
Our misery unwanted.
By the edge of the town
With thinned ranks
We stood still,
To feel the pain
To let it run away.
To remember friends and family
Who like fallen sign posts
Now mark our way.
Lying lost upon acarpous soil
They tell others
Who seek shelter,
"It doesn't hurt anymore."
As always, Sarasota Writers Group had a great night of eclectic reading and look forward to our next meeting on 9/18/2013.
Author of Lotha and the Three Crosses and My Frog Sings along with his blog, iThink, his pieces are looked forward to for their imagery (never mind his gorgeous South African lilt).
As per last meeting's announcements, Peter kicked off our discussion regarding sentence, paragraph and page construction. He kicked it off by letting us imagine Pooh and Peter in conversation where Pooh says, "Tell me where the sentence lives.."
And then he laid out his challenge.
"What makes a sentence? Do you know the different kinds of sentences?"
As he spent the evening breaking down the various forms of sentences and their purposes...and how the right combination can create magic on a page, he pointed out a simple yet valuable fact.
"We talk too much, listen too little."
He encouraged us to find ways to inspire the senses. Music to inspire, Books of colors, images...senses.
We all came away enjoying the different outlooks and points of view that Peter offered into the way we hone our craft to constantly, consistently improve.
Our readings were kicked off by Susan Davis whose travelling gypsy spirit guided her to read from 100 Love Sonnets by Pablo Neruda. She chose to read #6. The pure beauty and passion made it easy to understand why she was inspired to share. Even more interesting was her story to go along with the poetry...when she told us of her tour of Neruda's home and the amazing view from his bedroom. The breathless natural beauty from his window combined with being in the great writer's home left her in awe.
Next, Ed Ellis read his very entertaining piece entitled "Awkward Encounter". It was a story of life after high school which included hanging out with Steve, his sidekick, cruising for chicks at "Bob's Big Boy" and some Mary Jane. Let's just say that after a bit of partying, one of the characters was uncertain if his trip to Disneyland was a dream or an actual occurrence. Yes, this piece had the whole group rolling with laughter at the characters' antics, the anticipation and the punch line.
Pat Patterson took on Rod's dialogue challenge. He called his piece "Two Old 1963 High School Class Buddies On The Telephone". In his piece we got the opportunity to hear two old friends wax nostalgic on the past and play catch up on life in general...and how their views of events had changed through the years.
Jeff Cochran read two pieces. The first was his dialogue challenge from Rod. He attributed his inspiration to Kitt's dialogue challenge from the prior meeting...and it didn't take any time at all to figure out why. With sentences like "Just slide it in" "Move it around a bit" and "I don't think that's going to fit", it was obvious that the dialogue included a lot of fun, tongue-in-cheek innuendo. What was it really about? A shoe sale, of course! His next piece was a poem he entitled "Seasons" that he'd written to celebrate an artist friend, Holly Lovely. His verses painted picturesque scenes and enabled the listener to feel each season...and appreciate how much he treasured his friend.
Our newcomer, Barry Mick, shared his piece called "Dragonfly". Although there was a literal dragonfly in his story, it became evident quickly that there was deep symbolism in that dragonfly. This is just the beginning of what we sense will be a very powerful story of love, loss and family. We can't wait to see where Barry takes his story.
Don Westerfield shared a short story he called "My Family Tree". He was researching a tale about his family tree and the family scandal that caused his grandpa to leave Kentucky and move to Indiana. To learn more about the roots of the tree in Kentucky, he headed back to where it all began and found his only remaining relative in town was the drunk guy he met on the corner. As he asked some former neighbors about what happened to his family, he was told..."Son, when you go digging for your roots, all you usually end up with is a can of worms." Yes, there was much laughter and applause that followed this entertaining short piece.
Ernie Ovitz continued with Chapter 2 if his WIP, "The Seventh King". In this part we're beginning to get a feel for the political savvy of Constantine, the Tribune, as he deals with General Decimus and his interview, hoping to learn more about the Emperor. In this part we also begin to get a better feel for Red Beard and why he's targeting them.
JoAnne Phillips, author of Adventures Of A Sea Hag continued with her current WIP, "The Matrix Of Life" with her next chapter entitled "Goodbye Mushy". In this chapter she talked about she and her mother living with her grandma who suffered from bipolar disorder, though it wasn't yet a diagnosis. There wasn't a dry eye in the house as she bravely shared the story about the puppy, Mushy, her mother's ex-boyfriend gave her and how she held it in her arms as she watched it die a horrible death at her grandmother's hand. The lethargy and inability to communicate and respond broke our hearts for her...and we were so relieved when she was placed back into the care of her grandparents on her father's side as she began her slow battle back toward healing. JoAnne's story has it's ups and downs, but the one constant is this... We're cheering for her!
Linda Shell was back with her YA Adventure about Gracie the dwarf kangaroo in "Come Along With Me". She had the group snorting with laughter at her clever turn of phrase, "Buster's last stand" as she told about the chicken who ran around with it's head cut off...spraying grandma's white, newly washed sheets that were hanging on the line with his blood. Guess that's what she gets for deciding to make him dinner. We're definitely looking forward to seeing where Gracie's adventure leads next.
Next came another excerpt from author of I'm Adopted, I'm Special and The Animal Tales blog, Beth Rice's newest WIP "Pawprints Are Forever". The next installment was called "Dr Anthony Vinelli". He wasn't the suave, handsome doc, but rather the smart, capable doc with the fabulous petside manner...who the techs didn't like much, but then...he made them work. He was also an avian specialist which meant he got to handle then snakes and their temperamental owners. He was also the resident "Friends" trivia guru and the favorite doctor for the protagonist. At this point, he was just introduced into the story along with a couple of patients who he's helped along the way, but we all sense that there's much more to their story and are looking forward to hearing it told.
As we closed out the night, we circled back to Peter. He shared with us a piece he'd written about a river called "There Runs A River". Although it was ultimately about the river, it was about so much more. It was symbolic of time and how, like a river, they both change everything as they move. He also shared some of his own poetry. With his permission, here's his piece.
The Pathway
The single line pathway
Moved humans
Carrying empty pails of sorrowed hunger
And despair they should never have owned.
Some brought extended bellies
Swollen lips and cleaved tongues,
Others empty eyes,
Faces cracked
Scabbed skin
Where tears had dried.
And the dogs
That came on burnt paws,
Pulled tails across stones,
Whimpered for those they left to die.
We walked
Slowly
Into miles,
To the horizon,
To a town.
Some groaned
Stopped and dropped
With voices that gurgled
Between cracked lips
Before they died.
For each that crumpled
I bent down
Besides
With a prayer.
Pressed eye lids
Closed
With whites covered
Each rested
In their own dark
Our misery unwanted.
By the edge of the town
With thinned ranks
We stood still,
To feel the pain
To let it run away.
To remember friends and family
Who like fallen sign posts
Now mark our way.
Lying lost upon acarpous soil
They tell others
Who seek shelter,
"It doesn't hurt anymore."
As always, Sarasota Writers Group had a great night of eclectic reading and look forward to our next meeting on 9/18/2013.
Labels:
Barry Mick,
Beth Rice,
Don Westerfield,
Ed Ellis,
Ernie Ovitz,
Jeff Cochran,
Joanne Phillips,
Pat Patterson,
Peter Frickel,
Rod DiGruttolo,
Sarasota Writers Group
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